Its scary isn't it the way time just fly's by and how quickly the day goes by.
ive been thinking a lot about my life and my plan for life. i have two huge dreams, to travel and to have children. I want to travel the world and explore and have fun but my infertility issues have made a child a priority first. i know i can travel when im older and even with a child if we can save up enough. i want to travel Europe mostly, but after watching Louis Cole (funforlouis) on YouTube i want to see so much more. but im scared it will never happen. But our dream of a family needs to happen first.
in other news myself and my partner have decide to move out of our flatting situation and go out on our own. itll be tough financially but i think for my mental state and our relationship its needed im excited to have our own house and be able to keep it clean and organised and decorate it how ever i please. and to get into a routine and actually have decent meals and have my own space.
im excited and scared for our future but im sure we will make it and figure it all out along the way :D
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Monday, June 9, 2014
Who should i be.
This week has been up and down.
my best friend moved over from Brisbane and spent a couple of days with me before she left to start her new life at university, Which of course has got me thinking overtime about how i am stuck in a dead end job where i am treated like shit (along with the rest of the staff) and how i want to do more with my life and create a future but i am seriously stuck on what to study or do, should i just try and find a better paying job or should i spend then next three years studying? and if i do study what subject do i study? do i go and study what i had originally planned for my life before my depression hit the lowest point which was childcare? or do i go for my new hobby photography or do i do something completely new like social work ? i simply have no idea and i am scared because i am twenty three and should have my life together by now shouldn't i? i feel as though im just wasting time until my boyfriend is ready to start a family because deep down that is all i truly want. but i also want a good life for my children i don't want to be struggling with money. I don't want my children to grow up like i did although im not saying i had a bad childhood i know my parents gave me everything i needed and most of the time what i wanted but i know they also struggled with money. life is complicated and hard and beautiful all at the same time and i feel like im running out of time to do everything i want to achieve in my life
my best friend moved over from Brisbane and spent a couple of days with me before she left to start her new life at university, Which of course has got me thinking overtime about how i am stuck in a dead end job where i am treated like shit (along with the rest of the staff) and how i want to do more with my life and create a future but i am seriously stuck on what to study or do, should i just try and find a better paying job or should i spend then next three years studying? and if i do study what subject do i study? do i go and study what i had originally planned for my life before my depression hit the lowest point which was childcare? or do i go for my new hobby photography or do i do something completely new like social work ? i simply have no idea and i am scared because i am twenty three and should have my life together by now shouldn't i? i feel as though im just wasting time until my boyfriend is ready to start a family because deep down that is all i truly want. but i also want a good life for my children i don't want to be struggling with money. I don't want my children to grow up like i did although im not saying i had a bad childhood i know my parents gave me everything i needed and most of the time what i wanted but i know they also struggled with money. life is complicated and hard and beautiful all at the same time and i feel like im running out of time to do everything i want to achieve in my life
Monday, June 2, 2014
5th Birthday partys, Minion cakes and turning twenty three
To be honest i don't really know what to write about today.
when i was younger i had planed out my entire life at seventeen i studied childcare, and my plan was to get a job nannying overseas travel the world and see everything i felt i needed to until i was twenty-three, but after my studies finished and i moved back home i feel into a deep depression i was suffering from depression before this but it got a lot worse once i moved back home, for three years i stayed in bed until the early hours of the afternoon before my mother got home from work i would get up and tidy the house, and i would lie about how my job hunt was going because that was the last thing i wanted to do, i didn't want to wake up let alone go to work. I would starve myself until i binged and ate everything, then i would punish myself by either purging or slicing my skin, i was sick i was in my own little hell that i could not see a way out of i managed to keep my depression and self destruction habits a secret for a long time, even now my family does not know everything i was doing, for a long time there was only one person who i trusted enough to talk to and she was the one who pushed me to recover, she gave me an option, her friendship or my self destructive habits because she could not watch me go through it any longer she could not watch from the sidelines as i was slowly killing myself, i owe her my life and i will forever be great-full to her for helping me wake up and see what i was doing to myself.
I am twenty three today, and my life is nothing like i pictured it would be and today's been hard, my thoughts are all regrets i wanted so much more for my life by now but because i was sucked into depression i feel as though i have wasted a huge portion of my life that i will never get back. although im back on track and mostly recovered now i feel like im running out of time. because the truth is life is short, and it does go by in the blink of an eye. so from here on out im going to live my life to the fullest, im going to have fun everyday im going to make sure i do stuff spontaneously and live to make up for 10 years lost to depression. 10 years i will never get back.
what i have been up to.
This weekend i have a birthday dinner with my best friend, boyfriend and family, it was so much fun and i really enjoyed myself and i also got a minion cake! (im obsessed okay). Sunday my niece had a 5th frozen themed birthday party and i got to take some pictures! it was so fun and so awesome to see her with all her little friends from preschool, i can tell her mum is going to be in for a rough time with her once shes hits her teens haha.
when i was younger i had planed out my entire life at seventeen i studied childcare, and my plan was to get a job nannying overseas travel the world and see everything i felt i needed to until i was twenty-three, but after my studies finished and i moved back home i feel into a deep depression i was suffering from depression before this but it got a lot worse once i moved back home, for three years i stayed in bed until the early hours of the afternoon before my mother got home from work i would get up and tidy the house, and i would lie about how my job hunt was going because that was the last thing i wanted to do, i didn't want to wake up let alone go to work. I would starve myself until i binged and ate everything, then i would punish myself by either purging or slicing my skin, i was sick i was in my own little hell that i could not see a way out of i managed to keep my depression and self destruction habits a secret for a long time, even now my family does not know everything i was doing, for a long time there was only one person who i trusted enough to talk to and she was the one who pushed me to recover, she gave me an option, her friendship or my self destructive habits because she could not watch me go through it any longer she could not watch from the sidelines as i was slowly killing myself, i owe her my life and i will forever be great-full to her for helping me wake up and see what i was doing to myself.
I am twenty three today, and my life is nothing like i pictured it would be and today's been hard, my thoughts are all regrets i wanted so much more for my life by now but because i was sucked into depression i feel as though i have wasted a huge portion of my life that i will never get back. although im back on track and mostly recovered now i feel like im running out of time. because the truth is life is short, and it does go by in the blink of an eye. so from here on out im going to live my life to the fullest, im going to have fun everyday im going to make sure i do stuff spontaneously and live to make up for 10 years lost to depression. 10 years i will never get back.
what i have been up to.
This weekend i have a birthday dinner with my best friend, boyfriend and family, it was so much fun and i really enjoyed myself and i also got a minion cake! (im obsessed okay). Sunday my niece had a 5th frozen themed birthday party and i got to take some pictures! it was so fun and so awesome to see her with all her little friends from preschool, i can tell her mum is going to be in for a rough time with her once shes hits her teens haha.
Jelly
Cookied
My beautiful niece Dancing
Dancing again!!
Minion cake my bestie made me :D
Myself and the boyfriend
Present from the boyfriend
present from the best friend!
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