Moving out and Growing up

Its scary isn't it the way time just fly's by and how quickly the day goes by.
ive been thinking a lot about my life and my plan for life. i have two huge dreams, to travel and to have children. I want to travel the world and explore and have fun but my infertility issues have made a child a priority first. i know i can travel when im older and even with a child if we can save up enough. i want to travel Europe mostly, but after watching Louis Cole (funforlouis) on YouTube i want to see so much more. but im scared it will never happen. But our dream of a family needs to happen first.

in other news myself and my partner have decide to move out of our flatting situation and go out on our own. itll be tough financially but i think for my mental state and our relationship its needed im excited to have our own house and be able to keep it clean and organised and decorate it how ever i please. and to get into a routine and actually have decent meals and have my own space.

im excited and scared for our future but im sure we will make it and figure it all out along the way :D

Learning About PCOS.

I have been diagnosed since 2011, but in all honesty i think i have been in denial for a long time and i think i am finally starting to realize if i want to be a success story i need to change, i need to change my diet, i need to change my lifestyle for the better.

i have only recently started researching PCOS, when i was diagnosed i was told to lose weight, given metformin and i was sent on my way, i was 19 years old and deep into depression. at the time i didn't care i didn't see myself living past 22 anyway. Since ive received help for my depression its kind of been the last thing on my mind i felt like my mental heath was the most important thing. so a again didn't worry about it.

I am now 23 and still barely know anything about my syndrome, so 2015 will be the year i learn alot i will learn everything there is to know about PCOS, I will do everything in my power to become a success story :)

my day today has been an active one. i woke up at 6am to go fishing with my dad we caught 11 snapper and dredged for scallops and got 36!! later on in the day my mum and sister brought my niece and nephew down for a go in the boat and to play on the beach. i manged to get some awesome shots and have decided i need a go pro as my big fancy camera is to big and im petrified of breaking it somehow. 

I also meet up with a girl who contacted me on tumblr who also has PCOS, and by god she is so inspirational its crazy we had an instant connection. and the fact we happened to be in the same town was awesome. it was nice to talk to someone who gets it you know? like i find i cant talk to my friends about PCOS cause they don't know about it. they dot know what we go through. This Girl im going t call her T helped more in an hour then what my doctors have in four years. She has also inspired me about cooking and how eating low GI isn't all that hard and we can still have yummy foods. So im setting yet another goal! Once a week i will cook something totally new. and the recipes will be altered so they are low GI she even gave me a recipe magazine that has like 10-15 recipes i want to try already :D im so excited for this year. 

xoxo till another day!

Living with PCOS

So i haven't mentioned this on here before. But i have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) basically i have cysts growing on my ovaries, with causes a lot of different problems, irregular periods, pain, infertility, and it also makes it a shit load harder to lose weight then just an average person, and teaming that with having a bad relationship with food in the first place make it even harder, and when you have been trying to lose weight for years and end up only getting bigger and bigger and the only way that ever worked was when you starved yourself it gets so fucking frustrating that you just give up and eat that chocolate bar because you feel like your never going to lose weight and yourve been trying do hard for the past month and nothings changed anyway so why even try.
But then you get this sharp twisting pain in your lower stomach and all the fear of not being able to ever have kids, the fear of maybe having to get you ovaries removed comes back and you know you need to lose weight for your health and your future.

Sorry having a hard time trying to lose weight and its just not working and i needed to rant.

Im on a health kick!

So as you all know ive been wanting to lose weight and be healthier for awhile when i was younger i went to extreme lengths to try and be "thin" and it had a huge impact on my mental health so while i have been "recovering" i put a stop to any diets or weight loss things because i felt i needed to be in a stronger mind set so i did not return to my bad habits of starving binging and purging. and i feel like i am at that stage where ill be okay and be able to recognize if i am starting those things again. To be honest though i feel like i need this for both my mental health and physical health because the past month or so i think my eating habits have really taken a toll on how i am feeling. i don't eat much but what i do it is crap and makes be feel like crap as well. because of where i work in a fast food company and the times i work ive always been to lazy to cook/ make something to take in and if i did i felt like everyone thought i was weird for taking in my own stuff. but now i am doing this for me and frankly i don't care what they think i am overweight and i want to change that. for now i am not going to worry about how much or how little im eating or what i am drinking or how much i am excising i am literally just going to focus on what i am putting into my body food wise. i struggle with ideas on what to eat and make because i know i am kinda fussy when it comes to food but if you have any ideas let me know in the comments!

what i am currently having for breakfast muesli and low fat yogurt 

Snacks for while i am at work I discovered i like hummus! yay (im not taking all the hummus i just could not find my small container, bagel bites, and yogurt. 

Work dinner, salad with silver-beet, lettuce,cucumber,carrot, cheese and chicken.