Who should i be.

This week has been up and down.
my best friend moved over from Brisbane and spent a couple of days with me before she left to start her new life at university, Which of course has got me thinking overtime about how i am stuck in a dead end job where i am treated like shit (along with the rest of the staff) and how i want to do more with my life and create a future but i am seriously stuck on what to study or do, should i just try and find a better paying job or should i spend then next three years studying? and if i do study what subject do i study? do i go and study what i had originally planned for my life before my depression hit the lowest point which was childcare? or do i go for my new hobby photography or do i do something completely new like social work ? i simply have no idea and i am scared because i am twenty three and should have my life together by now shouldn't i? i feel as though im just wasting time until my boyfriend is ready to start a family because deep down that is all i truly want. but i also want a good life for my children i don't want to be struggling with money. I don't want my children to grow up like i did although im not saying i had a bad childhood i know my parents gave me everything i needed and most of the time what i wanted but i know they also struggled with money. life is complicated and hard and beautiful all at the same time and i feel like im running out of time to do everything i want to achieve in my life