Weekly overview.

This week as been pretty uneventful,
my boss has asked me to postpone my holiday by a couple of weeks as we are really short staffed so my hope of a ten day holiday is no longer getting me through the week. i am so over my job its not even funny.
I went shopping on Friday and scored 3 bras for $30.00 so cheap definitely going there again. and got some more bleach for my hair (hopefully the last time ill have to bleach it )
I took some photos for a friends wedding invitations that i should be working on right now but i just have no drive to do anything at the moment.
Im not to sure why either its just like a cloud i cant get out from under at the moment.
my birthday dinner is this Saturday and only one friend plus my boyfriend and my family can make it so im thinking of canceling it altogether. its also my nieces birthday party on the Sunday so everyone's efforts and thoughts are on that and most of the family cant make it two days in a row which is fair enough.

my best friend arrives from Australia on the 6th of june and i cant wait to see her.
other then that my weeks bee pretty boring and depressing. i dunno sorry this post is pretty lame i don't even know why im putting it up but hey.

here are some pictures from during the week

Shopping from Friday Bras from Rose and thorne (seriously if you live in Nz or Aussie check them out) hair bleach, and nak care shampoo and conditioner ( again if you have bleached hair use this stuff it is amazing) 

Wednesday was spent preparing for my nieces party next Sunday. shes turning 5 and her party is all frozen themed i will definitely have pictures of that for you next week.

I currently cant post photos of the photoshoot i did as the photos still have to be edited but i will post a few once ive edited them :)

keep breaking free xoxo Sammy

18/12/12

Diary Entry.

The worst feeling in the world..
When your at your worst, tired exhausted and literally about to give up, your about to drag that blade across your wrist, down that bottle of pills or put that gun to your head. and your serious when you say it cant get any worse then this. but you pull yourself up because you don't want to hurt those you love, you don't want them to ever feel the way you do at this very moment. So you stay and you hold on for yet another day because you cant bare the thought of causing them so much misery, So you suffer the pain day in and day out for the people you love.
Suddenly day by day you realise your loved ones aren't speaking to you, they have stopped being there for you because they cant see you go through this anymore.
your phone stops ringing, it doesn't beep anymore, there is not one notification on your Facebook and not one explanation to go along with it.
Its been months since anyone's said a word to you and now your truly and utterly alone and the hurt and heartbreak is one million times worse then it was before, and you wonder why you held on for so long, what was the point of it all and as a tears roll down our cheek and the blood drips from your arms you realize.
It got worse.

Broken birds learn to love

Theres something missing and somehow you made me complete you made everything okay you made me happy. You have been my best friend for over 6 years and i fell for you at the wrong time, we had fun, but you never loved me i fell for your lies and played your games, you meant everything to me but you broke my heart, the four straight angry deep scars i made the day i found out it was all a lie remind me daily of what you did they are never going to go away they a permanent reminder of everything we had. Somehow through all the pain you caused every time i see you every time you txt me i fall a little more i wouldn't call it love anymore but i still care and that hurts even more