I see fire.

How do you know if you are with "the one" are you supposed to just know? or are relationships supposed to feel like a lot of work? don't get me wrong i love him, but i feel like i am the one making all the effort. But this is also my first serious relationship. so i have no idea what i am doing, I also have no friends i can really talk about this kind of stuff, And i don't know why i am posting this here as i am pretty sure no one even reads what i write on here. 

I don't know why i feel this way that maybe hes not the one that maybe hes just with me because its easy and because we have been friends for so long. 

I love him and chased him for years before we got together and he broke my heart to many times to count but i forgave him because he finally wanted me. he finally chose me and its been a year and a half and i feel like he is so comfortable with the thought that i will never leave because i waited for him for so long that hes stopped trying to "keep me around" because he is so confident i am not going anywhere. I don't want to lose him but i also don't want to marry someone i am always second guessing

California shooting

So i just read about the shooting in California 

It is horrible and makes me sad that someone can do this and the killer and people posting comments are blaming it on the fact that girls didn’t spread there legs for him. That because girls turned this guy down he went out and shot 6+ people. The comments on his video disgust me the majority of it men saying that some girl could have stopped him from murdering these people if only someone had given this stuck up prick some “pussy” one of his videos i watched “life is unfair because girls don’t like me” made me want to puke, no wonder girls didn’t like him he was self centred and was all about himself. But all the comment it what got to me the most. Men need to respect woman more, we are not a piece of meat nor are we something for you to play with if you get bored or lonely we are fucking human beings and we have thoughts and feelings too.